Dependable Erection

Friday, June 05, 2009

Beaver Queen Pageant - Meet the Judges

Rounding out our distinguished panel of judges is that most well known and powerful of mammals, Beav Perdue.
When Beav Perdue took office in January, she was shocked to discover what a sorry state our N.C beavers are in after years of Republican neglect. “Heck, seems like a Republican wouldn’t know what to do with a beaver if one walked up and slapped him in the face with her tail”, said the newly whetted Beav.

Since being elected as the first Beaver governor in N.C., she has been hard at work on the Beaver Stimulus Package, a two-pronged effort to rescue beaverdom from those forces that seek to crush us under the wheel of “progress”.

Said Beav in a recent interview: “First, we are launching our “Build a Better Beaver” program aimed at giving beavers the state funding needed to rebuild their wetlands. Just as important, however, is this administration’s belief that state help is meaningless without personal responsibility. So under the Batteries Not Included program, we’ll partner healthy beavers with those who need better beaverly life skill development to care for their own wetlands far into the future.”

Beav is thrilled to participate with this fine panel of judges to crown the new Beaver Queen. She is one eager Beaver and looking forward to meeting her Beaver brethren and sistren: “When I was a kit in New Bern, I always heard tell about the diversity and eclectic nature of the Durham Beavers. Durham and its ‘Beavers Taking Care of Beavers’ mind-set is what I want to bring to the rest of our great state!”



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