Dependable Erection

Saturday, June 06, 2009

Beaver Queen Pageant - Final Judges' Roster

Well, today's the big day. Here's the complete lineup of judges for this year's pageant:

Woody L. Ocavore - In the spirit of Woodstick, Woody wants beavers to believe in their fellow kind, and work through cooperative principles to make sure that all have access to the finest local wood and the healthiest local brush.

Dam Flo
- She’s all flash and brash, but with a heart of gold, and she’s loved by all.

Maxi Go-Lightly - I choose to live my life without things like telephones, expensive threads, jobs or soap dragging me down. I just live life in my van going to the best music festivals on the planet spreading peace and love.

2 Beaver Knotubeve - 2 Beave (as he is known to his lodge posse) was born in Buffalo, New York back in the before-time when the beaver nation could speak. He learned the language of the Upright People and got his first job in commercial radio at the age of 19 (430 in beaver years).

Doc Beaver - Doc has worked with other beavers to stop the asphalt industry from building stinky asphalt plants near beaver wetlands, the DOT from building stinky Eno Loop over beaver lodges, and Devil University from building lots of stinky stores next to little local beaver shops.

Woody Van Pelt
- Over the past twenty years, Woody has maintained both his rocking lifestyle and his chasing of beaver. He has observed, tracked, trapped, and tagged hundreds of the flat-tailed furry fellows. He does not believe in attempts to tame the bristly buggers, so practices a catch and release program.

Beav Perdue - Since being elected as the first Beaver governor in N.C., she has been hard at work on the Beaver Stimulus Package, a two-pronged effort to rescue beaverdom from those forces that seek to crush us under the wheel of “progress”.



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