Moving up the chain of command

My email to the Shat:

Dear Bill,

I am so disappointed. I trusted you.

When you karate kicked the living hell out of inflated hotel prices on those commercials, I believed in you.

I believed in you so much that I actually went to Priceline.com and negotiated a sweet hotel deal for a quick beach getaway with my wife.

Alas, Priceline booked me into a city 6 miles inland from the beach area that I requested, and refuses to discuss rebooking or giving me a refund. I can't get behind that kind of bait and switch, can you?

I've been trying to reach you for the last 12 hours to discuss this with you personally, but your hailing frequencies do not appear to be open this weekend. I'm sharing my experiences with all of my friends and online acquaintances. Obviously I don't have the phaser power that you do, but I'll bet I'm not the only one whose getaway plans have been warped by Priceline. So I thought I'd share this with you, and maybe you can bring it up before the High Command on my behalf.

Live long and prosper (with the money Priceline obtains via false advertising practices)
Mr. Dependable