Beaver Queen Pageant - meet the contestants

With less than six days remaining until the 4th Annual Beaver Queen Pageant, it's time to start meeting this year's contestants. We'll have bios of each of the six seekers of the crown between now and Saturday morning, so you can arrive at the Duke Park Meadow with the foreknowledge you need to root for your fave.

First up - Old Thyme Beaver:

Olde Thyme Beaver, a longtime favorite of the Dam Ol' Opry will be making her first appearance at The Meadow. Steeped in tradition and emblematic of a bygone, sentimentail era when beavers were legendary, Olde Thyme Beaver epitomizes the meaning of being down on all fours.

But don't confuse Corn Pone with Poontang, this is an Olde Thyme Beaver who fully embodies the essence of virtuous Beaver pulchritude. On June 7, you will be mesmerized as she delivers her righteous yet humble Ellerbee Address to the entire Dam Nation. You will be enthralled by her modest demeanor as she shakes her bush in the Wetland and simply captivated by her song.

Olde Thyme Beaver's roots run deep into the pond, commencing from a heralded long line of the most noble Olde Thyme Beaver legends. Her Lodge includes the honorable Pete Moss Seeger Beaver, Big Mama Thorn Beaver, Dam Watson, Flattail and Scruggs, and the celebrated Woody Guthrie.

But regardless of the outcome June 7, Olde Thyme Beaver is firmly committed to the preservation of the whole Dam Nation through drought, strip mall construction, panning for gold or Dutch Elm Disease. Whether it be blight or bloat, Olde Thyme Beaver will dedicate herself to all and any gnawing controversies and concerns.

So buck up to a buck tooth and come see Olde Thyme Beaver chomp her way to victory as Queen of The Lodge on June 7. Listen to the munch, hearken to the crunch, heed the furry call of falling timber. Our Olde Thyme Beaver, eternally honoring the noble endeavor of a good chew, log in hand, in claw, will prove to you once and for all that mastication can be fun.