Beaver Queen Pageant - Meet the judges

Beaver Lodge Local 1504 is also very excited by the presence of Dolly Wood on the judges panel. Dolly is one of the most talented designers of lodges in town, and we're looking forward to the first condo-lodge to be, dare we say it, erected by Mr. Wood. Look for it soon.

I’m not really familiar with beaver. I’m kind of...a beaver virgin, you could say. I know much more about....starfishes and snakes...that sort of thing.

As a judge, it will be necessary for beavers to be clandestine and, dare I say, closeted about their bribes and attempts to influence my decision. It’s important that the beavers...well...not get too close.

My credentials?

I’ve been called the Mayor of Gay Durham. Not to be confused with the Gay Mayor of Durham (which hasn’t happened yet, but I’m working on it). I’ve been accused of being the Don of the Gay Mafia in Durham. There’s no such thing, and anyone who claims otherwise is liable to get their coffee table legs broken.

I have a knack for talking first, and thinking later. That, combined with my need for daily 12-Step recovery and my legendary codependency, leads to a paradoxical combination of brutal candor and stagnant diplomacy. I love to call it like I see it, especially if it’s the answer you wanted to hear.

Most importantly, I will not be swayed by the typical powers of the beaver (see beaver-virgin thing above). The beavers will have to perform, and perform well. The performances must rise above the day-to-day routine of beaverhood.