Dependable Erection

Monday, April 16, 2007

Heavy rains help replenish Duke Park swamp



Wetlands enthusiasts were cheered over the weekend as a series of heavy squalls dropped over an inch and a half of rain on our town, bringing the total for the week to nearly three and a half inches, and replenishing the Duke Park swamp to near record depths.

Neighborhood wetlanders had been concerned recently that young children had been seen kicking soccer balls and running through the nearly dry swamp yelling loudly and otherwise having a good time.

"Thank goodness for the downpours this past week," said one local swamp supporter who preferred to remain anonymous. "The whole concept of kids having fun in what should be a muddy, messy, unforgiving morass just kinda creeps me out. Hopefully, we'll have enough rain this season to keep those weirdos from the Beaver Lodge from holding another one of these incomprehensible pageants of theirs. What the hell is that all about anyway?"

Rumors that the Fish and Wildlife Service was planning to stock the Duke Park wetlands with rainbow trout could not be confirmed this morning before our deadline.

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5 Comments:

  • They'd'a been better off leaving the pool, or maybe turning it into a big aquarium. :(

    By Blogger Joe, at 12:03 PM  

  • First of all, this is a prime spot for some condos!

    Failing that, I'll send the Lady Manpurse down there with her rasslin' sisters to show you chumps in Duke Park what that god-given mudhole is good for.

    By Anonymous Blazer Manpurse, BFA, at 10:40 PM  

  • Perhaps the Lady Manpurse would care to demonstrate her mud rasslin' talents as a contestant in the next Beaver Queen Pageant?

    By Blogger Barry Ragin, at 11:05 PM  

  • Whoa buddy--the Lady Manpurse's privates are regal and all, but she only shows 'em for cold, hard cash--even to me. Though she might take a shine to that hunky cop now that you mention it...

    By Anonymous Blazer Manpurse, BFA, at 7:53 AM  

  • Although i understand that the prize package for this year's queen is going to be "something else," as the hepsters say, i think the Lady would be able to complete quite well and still keep her privates private.

    It is a family event, after all.

    By Blogger Barry Ragin, at 8:52 AM  

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