Dependable Erection

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Beaver Queen Pageant - Meet the contestants

Over the past 4 years, a great many beavers have vied for the title of Beaver Queen. This year, for the first time, true royalty seeks its rightful place. Meet Her Royal Majesty Elizabeaver I, Queen of Ponds and Isles, Defender of the Wetlands.

HRM Elizabeaver, first to bear that good and noble name, is the daughter of HRM Henry VIII (a man with much beaver experience) and Anne Boleyn (who found that axes are not so good for beavers). Though there has been much made about the relationship between HRM Elizabeaver and Sir Walter Wally, a groundhog very much in her favor, she always protected her wetlands and is still a virgin beaver queen. HRM Elizabeaver, also known
as "Good Queen Beav", "Gloriana", or the "Virgin Beaver Queen", is also known for her rivalry with her cousin, Mary Queen of Scottish Beavers.

HRM Elizabeaver succeeded to the throne upon the death of her sister, Queen "Bloody Beaver" Mary, and has created through her reign a time of great peace, love, and flourishing beavers. HRM Elizabeaver has come across the pond to compete in the Beaver Queen Pageant in order to continue her protection of wetlands and the promotion of the glory of beavers.

Don't forget, the official start of BQP season is tomorrow night at The Scrap Exchange, with the opening of "An Exhibition of the Finest Handcrafted Beaver Tails in the Entire Universe.



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