There's a feeling I get

Maybe you know it.

You're thinking about an old friend. Someone whose path no longer crosses yours with any regularity, someone you used to hang with a lot, but maybe haven't seen for what, 6, 8 years now? You almost pick up the phone, but there's a three hour time difference, and calling information to get that phone number is such a waste of time. The garage needs to be cleaned, the yard raked, maybe you've just been yelling at the kids for something stupid, and the moment passes. There'll be another time next week, next month, to make that call.

Until one day you learn that there won't be another time.

Do you know that feeling, when you learn that?

No?

Neither did i, until this morning.


Here's some words by John Darnielle that somehow seem to fit.

I will rise up early and dress myself up nice
and I will leave the house and check the deadlock twice.
and I will find a crowd and blend in for a minute
and I will try to find a little comfort in it.
and I will get lonely and gasp for air.
and send your name up from my lips like a signal flare.