Dependable Erection

Friday, March 23, 2007

"This isn’t a swipe at Duke, or at Durham."

So says Boston Herald columnist Steve Buckley in a piece published earlier in the week upon the occasion of the Boston College Eagles being knocked out of the NCAA tournament.

Seems that some Eagles boosters are upset that their plucky little team isn't more like Duke, their plucky little arena isn't more like Cameron, and their plucky little coach doesn't make as many cheesy commercials as Coach K. So Buckley puts on his civic booster hat to remind his readers that they live in Boston, and they've got a major league baseball team. You know, and they play against the Yankees sixteen times a year. Whereas Durham is "just another minor league tank town." And we get to play against Cpl. Klinger's beloved Toledo Mud Hens.

So there.

I've got two words for Mr. Buckley.


And Bruins.

Now talk to me about minor league towns.

Seriously, what would Mr. Buckley's analyst think about his need to defend Boston's sports quotient against Durham? We know that Durham wasn't even on the map when Paul Revere was riding through town at midnight. We're OK with that.

Just like most of us are resigned to the fact that Duke football's never gonna be a contender. It's just not that big a deal.

More concerning, though, is the response of the Durham Bulls, which have put out a press release inviting Mr. Buckley to come to a Bulls - Mud Hens game in June to get the "full Minor League Baseball experience." Work the scoreboard for an inning. Drag the infield. Race Wool E. Bull around the bases. (That might be worth the price of admission, to see Wool E.'s 10 year losing streak come to an end.)

What good can possibly come of this invitation? Do they think that Buckley might have a good time, see the error of his ways, and apologize? Do we need Buckley's apology to validate ourselves?

I like the minor league experience. I like not having to plan my trip to the ballpark in February, and not having to raid my retirement account to pay for it. I like not having to pay 7 bucks for a parking spot two miles away from the gate. I could do without the sumo wrestling, to be honest, but some folks find it charming.

No, better that the Steve Buckley's of the world stay smug in their press boxes in Boston and Detroit, and New York. If they come down here and realize how likable the minor league experience is, next thing you know, they'll be bringing their friends and relations. And that means i'll have to start buying my tickets in February.

And paying the big bucks to park.

No thanks.

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  • The neuroscientist Dr. Robert Sapolsky has studied baboons in the wild for decades. He has observed that when a baboon gets beaten up, he finds another, smaller baboon to beat up.

    Some people's social intelligence is not beyond that of baboons.

    By Anonymous cd, at 8:14 AM  

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