Dependable Erection

Saturday, October 21, 2006

2006 MLB All-Name Team

Tonight is game one of the 2006 World Series, which means it's time to unveil the All-Name squad for this year.

Here are the rules. All members of the team must be a part of their team's 40 man roster. They need not be active, nor have actually played in any games to be part of the team. The All-Name team will also have a 40 man roster, a 25 man active roster (subset of the 40 player roster), and a 9 player starting line-up drawn from the active roster. The only requirement to make the team is the sound the name makes coming out of the announcer's lips. Alliterative names are good, as are names with an internal rhyme. Having a good Chris Berman nickname (such as Jim "Two Silhouettes on" DeShaies, or Rudy "This Is" Seanez) is only mildly helpful.

Here we go:

40 man (inactive) roster:

Pitchers
----------

Jose Arredondo - California Angels
Kiko Calero - Oakland Athletics
Kirk Saarloos - Oakland Athletics
Ty Taubenheim - Toronto Blue Jays
Macay McBride - Atlanta Braves
Tomo Ohka - Milwaukee Brewers
Yhency Brazopan - Los Angeles Dodgers
Shane Youman - Pittsburgh Pirates


Catchers
----------
Humberto Quintero - Houston Astros

Infielders
-----------
Lyle Overbay - Toronto Blue Jays
Prince Fielder - Milwaukee Brewers
Travis Ishikawa - San Francisco Giants
Alfredo Amezaga - Florida Marlins
Robinson Cano - New York Yankees

Outfielders
-------------
Grady Sizemore - Cleveland Indians


On the bench/In the bullpen

Pitchers
---------

Chris Bootcheck - Los Angeles Angels
Jason Isringhausen - St. Louis Cardinals
Franquelis Osoria - Los Angeles Dodgers
Fausto Carmona - Cleveland Indians
J.J. Putz - Seattle Mariners
Yusmeiro Petit - Florida Marlins
Royce Ring - New York Mets
Ambiorix Burgos - Kansas City Royals
Boof Bonser - Minnesota Twins


Catchers
----------

Einar Diaz - Los Angeles Dodgers
Yorvit Torrealba - Colorado Rockies


Infielders
-----------

Yuniesky Betancourt - Seattle Mariners
Larry Broadway - Washington Nationals


Outfielders
-------------

Ichiro Suzuki - Seattle Mariners
Terrmel Sledge - San Diego Padres
Nook Logan - Washington Nationals


Starting Lineup

Coco Crisp - Center field - Boston Red Sox
Jhonny Peralta - Second Base - Cleveland Indians
Hiram Bocachica - Right field - Kansas City Royals
Jorge Cantu - Third Base - Tampa Bay Devil Rays
Yadier Molina - Catcher - St. Louis Cardinals
Lastings Milledge - Left field - New York Mets
Placido Polanco - Shortstop - Detroit Tigers
Troy Tulowitzki - First base - Colorado Rockies
Merkin Valdez - Pitcher - San Francisco Giants

Labels:

6 Comments:

  • Coco Crisp? You're pulling my leg. :)

    I used to wait up for the sports segment on Headline News (circa 1990) just to see if Van Earl Wright was going to read it. I loved to hear him say "Deeeeep!" or "Fernando Valenzuela!" Sometimes, instead of reading down a list of scores, he'd just give the winner and an exclamation like "Houston rocked! Orlando rolled!" I really missed him when he left.

    By Blogger Joe, at 4:34 PM  

  • Coco Crisp is the raison d'etre for this list, all by himself.

    Jhonny Peralta made the starting lineup by getting bonus points for spelling his own name wrong.

    Alas, there was no room on the roster for such luminaries as Milton Bradley, Trot Nixon, Kerry Wood, and Jordan Tata.

    I had expected to have more difficulty filling out the roster than i did for the World Cup All-Name team, but the quality of names turned out to be much higher than i had expected.

    By Blogger Barry Ragin, at 4:52 PM  

  • So Taguchi, OF, St. Louis Cardinals

    Devern Hansack, P, Boston Red Sox

    By Anonymous markf44, at 11:55 PM  

  • Here's some more:

    How about an all-name trade, as in this one that happened the past off-season between the Reds and the Red Sox:

    Bronson Arroyo (named after Charles Bronson), for Wily Mo Pena.

    By Anonymous markf44, at 12:00 AM  

  • Willy Mo Pena and So Taguchi both made my initial list, but rules is rules and i had to stop at 40.

    "Then Came" Bronson Arroyo is a great Chris Berman name (and if Chris hasn't yet used it he's welcome to steal it from me), but also didn't make the cut.

    I confess that Devern Hansack slipped completely under my radar. Perhaps he could replace Yhency Brazopan on the 40 man roster if i redo this for spring training.

    Thanks!

    By Blogger Barry Ragin, at 9:11 AM  

  • You're welcome! It's no wonder Devern Hansack slipped under your radar--he was a late-season call-up for the Red Sox right after their season went down the tubes when they lost 5 in a row to the Yankees. I would never have heard of him were I not a diehard Red Sox fan. If I'm not mistaken he actually started in a game versus the Twins against none other than Boof Bonser...how about that for an all-name matchup!

    By Anonymous markf44, at 11:03 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home