Eyes and ears
Seems every time i meet with someone who works for the city, i get some variation of this speech. "Durham doesn't have enough (insert job description here) to stay on top of (insert urban problem here.) Because of this, we need you to be our eyes and ears on the street. Let us know what the problems are, so that we can devote our resources to solving them."
But after 10 years at my current address, letting you folks know what it is that i'm seeing and hearing pretty much every freakin' day that makes my surroundings ugly and unsafe, i've come to the conclusion that you're really not interested in making things better, and you'd be a lot happier if i weren't your eyes and ears.
And i'm all about making you happy.