Perhaps the stupidest argument ever

Fairway Outdoor Advertising executive Paul Hickman, who tried to pull a fast one last week by representing the views of three Durham citizens as those of the city's Partners Against Crime community, returns this week with a piece in the Herald-Sun that attempts to argue that new billboards in Durham will do just about everything except cure male pattern baldness and erectile dysfunction, although we can assume that the new billboards tell us how to cure those problems (well, those of us who need help, anyway.)

My life is too short to spend the time necessary to pick apart Hickman's arguments point by point, although if any of you want to in the comments, feel free.

Here's my favorite, though:

Other public service messages would include a community calendar announcing all of the festivals and events in the area, which would in turn benefit Durham's economy.

Right, Paul.

Because in a community like Durham, where over a thousand people turn out to an undavertised event like a food truck rodeo in a quickie mart parking lot on a Sunday morning, the way to find out what's going on in town is by 8 second messages flashed up on digital billboards along our highways.

Hey, anything that will keep people from posting to and reading their local neighborhood listservs, where much of the discussion these days centers around defeating Fairway's billboard proposal, right?

Here's a clue, Paul. All those festivals and shit you're gonna promote on your digital billboards in 8 second chunks? Guess what? We're the ones who make them happen, we're the ones who tell our friends about them on the listservs, on our blogs, on Facebook, and yes, when we meet each other at the bar, at the grocery store, at a potluck, at church, just about every place where people in the community meet.

Except when we're driving in our cars. Don't meet too many people that way.

Perhaps if you hung out with other folks in Durham besides your attorney you'd understand that.