Farce
Act 1 (Late 2007)
President: The fundamentals of our economy are strong.
Advisers: They are strong.
Congress: Yes, they are strong.
President: But the people are not spending enough money.
Congress: We need to stimulate them.
Advisors: Let's give them each 600 dollars to spend.
Congress: Make haste!
President: The fundamentals of our economy are strong.
Act 2 (Summer 2008)
President: The fundamentals of our economy are strong.
Advisors: Yes. They are strong.
Congress: They are strong.
Advisors: But the people have spent their 600 dollars.
Congress: Where has the money gone?
President: That was one helluva Olympics they put on in China. And how about our beach volleyball girls?
Act 3: (Early fall 2008)
President: The fundamentals of our economy are strong.
Candidate McCain: The fundamentals of our economy are strong.
Advisors: Nice strong economy you got here. Be a shame if anything bad were to happen to it, if you get my drift.
Congress: What do you mean?
Advisors: We need 700 billion with a "B" dollars if you want to keep the economy strong.
Congress: That's a lot of money.
Advisors: Here's a taste of what we mean.
Congress: Here ya go. Are you sure this will be enough? We don't have any else.
Advisors: Nobody's sure about nothing. Keep the printing presses running.
President: I'm outta here.
Candidate McCain: Economy? What economy? My opponent is a terrorist.
UPDATE: I swear to God you can't make this shit up:
President: The fundamentals of our economy are strong.
Advisers: They are strong.
Congress: Yes, they are strong.
President: But the people are not spending enough money.
Congress: We need to stimulate them.
Advisors: Let's give them each 600 dollars to spend.
Congress: Make haste!
President: The fundamentals of our economy are strong.
Act 2 (Summer 2008)
President: The fundamentals of our economy are strong.
Advisors: Yes. They are strong.
Congress: They are strong.
Advisors: But the people have spent their 600 dollars.
Congress: Where has the money gone?
President: That was one helluva Olympics they put on in China. And how about our beach volleyball girls?
Act 3: (Early fall 2008)
President: The fundamentals of our economy are strong.
Candidate McCain: The fundamentals of our economy are strong.
Advisors: Nice strong economy you got here. Be a shame if anything bad were to happen to it, if you get my drift.
Congress: What do you mean?
Advisors: We need 700 billion with a "B" dollars if you want to keep the economy strong.
Congress: That's a lot of money.
Advisors: Here's a taste of what we mean.
Congress: Here ya go. Are you sure this will be enough? We don't have any else.
Advisors: Nobody's sure about nothing. Keep the printing presses running.
President: I'm outta here.
Candidate McCain: Economy? What economy? My opponent is a terrorist.
UPDATE: I swear to God you can't make this shit up:
An official says the administration has decided to pick a key Treasury Department official to be the interim head of its $700 billion rescue effort for financial institutions.
The official said Monday that Neel Kashkari, Treasury's assistant secretary for international affairs, will soon be announced as the interim head of Treasury's new Office of Financial Stability. The official asked not to be identified by name because the selection has not been announced publicly.
The 35-year-old Kashkari is a former Goldman Sachs Inc. banker, the investment giant once headed by Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson. The new office was created by the emergency legislation enacted Friday to fund the largest government bailout in history.
Labels: Bush administration, Congress, economy
Since 1949, Durhamites have slept soundly, secure in the knowledge that, in our town, erection can be depended upon. Now, thanks to the power of the internets, we can spread that security all over the world.
5 Comments:
With a name like Cash'n'Carry, it's easy to see why these bozos picked him.
By
MK, at 12:06 PM
Come on Barry, take a stand and let us know how you feel about the Banker Bailout instead of just making fun of it.
Obama and the other Dems were all over this thing. Why, I have no idea -- one would think that a collapsing economy would help the Dems. Oh wait, now I remember...it's because Jon Corzine from Goldman Sachs and the other bankers are lining their pockets just as quickly as they are the Repubs.
By
KeepDurhamDifferent!, at 5:39 AM
I think my previous comments about Reid, Pelosi, and David Price speak for themselves.
By
Barry, at 8:34 AM
fair enough. What do you think of Liddy Dole voting against the bailout? Didn't see that one coming.
I leave you with perhaps the best Greenspan parody of the past year. My favorite line: "when in doubt, print it out".
By
Allison Kort, at 11:57 AM
Liddy's in a particularly tough re-election battle this year. (Who am i kidding? She's going down faster than Jenna Jameson did in 1994.)
I'm sure she had a special release from party hacks to vote against it.
By
Barry, at 12:48 PM
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