Euro 2008 All-Name team

In honor of today's Euro 2008 final between Spain and Germany here are the players with the names i like most to hear called by the announcers during the introductions and the run of play. As always with my All-Name squads, actual playing time during the tournament, or quality of play when on the field have nothing to do with being chosen for this prestigious honor. The only qualification is whether or not i like the sound of the player's name. We've also got a slight twist for this event.

If i could get corporate sponsorship, i'd call this first list the Snickers team. I think the reason will be obvious. Just try to imagine your local college basketball announcer having to call these names a dozen times a game.

Austria
Emmanuel Pogatetz
Christian Fuchs
Andreas Ivanschitz

Croatia
Jerko Leko

Czech
Daniel Zitka

Germany
Per Mertesacker

Holland
Rafael van der Vaart

Portugal
Quim Silva

Russia
Yuri Zhirkov

Spain
Andres Palop

Switzerland
Stephan Lichtsteiner

Turkey
Tumer Metin

Now, the true All-Name squad. First, the subs.

Austria
Joachim Standfest

Croatia
Luka Modric

Czech Republic
Tomas Ujfalusi

France
Steve Mandanda
Claude Makelele

Germany
Clemens Fritz (Honorary captain for obvious reasons)

Holland
Mario Melchiot

Italy
Gianluigi Buffon

Portugal
Pepe

Romania
Razvan Rat

Spain
Joan Capdevila
Alvaro Arbeloa


Turkey
Gokhan Zan
Kazim Kazim*

And the starting XI

Austria
Juergen Macho

Croatia
Jerko Leko

France
Sebastien Squillaci

Germany
Bastian Schweinsteiger

Holland
Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink

Italy
Giorgio Chiellini (Honorary captain for being the most likely to be played by Chico Marx in a scene involving a beer cart, a horse, and a befuddled referee outside a football stadium 5 minutes before kickoff.)

Poland
Dariusz Dudka

Russia
Yuri Zhirkov

Switzerland
Pascal Zuberbuehler
Hakan Yakin

Turkey
Hamit Altintop

And the special Golden "A" award for the best name in the tournament is a tie between Austria's Juergen Macho and Switzerland's Hakan Yakin. Congratulations to our winners.

UPDATE: Congratulations to the following players for "doing the double," being named to both the official UEFA All-Tournament team and the DE All-Name team: Gianluigi Buffon, Pepe, Yuri Zhirkov, and Hamit Altintop. Your medals will arrive someday.
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*There was much heated debate at the Dependable Ranch over whether to include young Mr. Kazim on the list. The ESPN announcers as well as the British newspapers refer to him as Colin Kazim-Richards which, while interesting, is simply not All-Name team material. Kazim Kazim, on the other hand, rocks. We've decided to keep him on the substitutes bench while we sort this out.